One of the most frustrating experiences for startup founders is to have multiple calls with a potential investor, dutifully answering follow-up questions from the VC and their team over the course of several weeks, only to hear…nothing.

Unfortunately, it’s an all-too-common experience. While there are some fantastic investors who make a point of providing very detailed feedback when they pass on a company, they represent the exception rather than the rule. Many VCs pass with what feels like comically generic reasons (“you’re too early for us”), while entirely too many simply ghost founders.

Why do VCs act like this? Why don’t they have the decency to at least say “no” when they decide that they’re not interested? Or provide more than a single sentence when they pass after 5 meetings and 10 phone calls?

As a founder, I had far more of these frustrating experiences than I’d care to remember. I never understood why an investor wouldn’t “close-the-loop” or be willing to share their honest feedback with me.

Now that I’m on the other side of the table, I understand some of the reasons why many VCs don’t give feedback. While I’m not going to try to justify all of these, here are some insights to help you better understand what’s going on in the mind of many investors and a few strategies you can use to try to pry a bit more feedback out from them.

Let’s start with some specific situations that investors regularly encounter.

The Rebuttal

Many founders find it difficult to listen to live investor feedback without offering a rebuttal. Especially if they think that the investor is wrong.

It’s human nature to want to correct people and defend yourself. Especially when you’re trying to sell. I’ve run virtual fundraising bootcamps for 5 years and the only way we’ve been able to get founders to actually listen to investor feedback is to mute them immediately after they’re done pitching. And those are situations where the only goal is to get feedback!

From the perspective of the investor, it’s kind of like dating. If you’ve made up your mind that there isn’t going to be a second date, having to defend and justify your reasons for not wanting another date can be exhausting. Which is why so many people don’t bother.

The Argument

It’s one thing to offer a well-meaning rebuttal, but it can escalate — many founders actually argue with investors when they pass.

The unfortunate reality is that, despite craving closure, many people don’t react well to critical feedback. I’ve seen everything from profanity-laden emails to lengthy twitter threads to outright screaming sessions in response to well-meaning, thoughtful feedback. While it might be easy to dismiss these as extreme outliers, they happen more often than you might think.

The Badmouthing

At this point, you might think that having a founder scream and insult you is the #1 reason why VCs don’t give feedback. But you’d be wrong. Worse than having someone insult you is when a founder reacts to critical feedback by “shooting the messenger” and privately badmouthing you to other founders.

In other words, there’s a non-zero chance that as a “thank you” for providing honest feedback, you will lose access to a future deal.

And this isn’t just a theoretical risk…

It’s Not Me, It’s You

Things get dicier when the reason why an investor is passing is the founder.

Even if an investor likes everything about the business, if there are concerns about the founder / founding team, VCs won’t invest. Here are some of the dynamics that raise concerns for potential investors about the founding team:

Warning signs of friction between the cofounders
Inappropriate language/behavior during calls
Poor/problematic reference calls
Challenges articulating the problem (even if the solution works, can the founder sell it / sell the vision to potential customers/employees/future investors?)
Lack of mental flexibility (not open to engaging in discussion/debate about the company / product / thesis)

Suffice to say, if some founders get defensive when offered constructive feedback on their business, you can imagine how well that goes over when it’s about them as individuals…

Despite all of this, there remain many investors (myself included) who strive to give detailed feedback to each and every founder we meet.

How To Get Better Feedback

Now that you understand a bit more about what’s going on in the mind of a VC, how can you increase the likelihood that you walk away from a “pass” with helpful feedback?

1. Preempt Fears of a Rebuttal

If an investor begins to tell you that they’re passing, immediately eliminating concerns over a rebuttal can be very helpful in extracting feedback.

[VC] At this point, I don’t think this is going to be a fit for us…
[Founder] Before you go any further, is there anything I can say at this point that would change your mind?
[VC] <Usually caught a bit off guard> No.
[Founder] In that case, would you be willing to share your thought process and allow me to ask a few questions about that to better understand?

Simply telegraphing that you don’t intend to argue with them can alleviate an investor’s worries about your reaction and effectively lower their defenses when it comes to offering genuine feedback.

2. Ask About Your Weaknesses

Proactively asking about your weaknesses is a great signal to investors about your coachability and openness to feedback. If they end up passing, it increases the likelihood that they’ll provide more detailed feedback.

3. Don’t Defend Yourself

The moment an investor tells you that they’re passing and begins to convey their reasoning, you have a decision to make: will you try to change their mind / offer a rebuttal or will you listen to the feedback? It’s very difficult to do both.

In my experience, once an investor has made the decision to communicate a pass, they’ve made up their mind. Absent a complete misunderstanding of your business, it’s unlikely that anything you say will change that. So if you really want to learn from the feedback, it’s essential that you listen.

Sometimes, it can take a few seconds to switch contexts and get out of selling mode. I find that leveraging a prop can help buy you a few seconds to transition into the right mindset:

[VC] At this point, I don’t think this is going to be a fit for us…
[Founder] Before you go any further, do you mind if I get out my laptop/notepad so I can take notes on your feedback?
[VC] Absolutely.

4. Ask for Feedback

If a VC sends you a pass email with a generic (or non-existent) reason, don’t be afraid to ask for feedback:

Dear [VC],
Thank you for closing the loop with regards to our conversation. Would you be willing to share a few additional details about your reasons (either by email or on a quick 5-min call)? Any feedback you would be willing to share would be massively helpful as I go forth on my founder journey.

Same thing goes for the situation where a VC ghosts you:

Dear [VC],
Given that I haven’t heard from you in the past 2 weeks, I’m presuming that you’ve made the decision that [company] is not a fit for [VC]. I completely respect your decision and would love to learn from it. Would you be willing to share a few details about your reasons for passing (either by email or on a quick 5-min call)? Any feedback you would be willing to share would be massively helpful as I go forth on my founder journey.

5. Don’t Get Angry

Above all else, resist the urge to get angry / take it personal (even if the reasons for passing seem stupid). At the end of the day, the vast majority of conversations you have with VCs will not lead to an investment. But they can lead to learnings.

Each pass is an opportunity to create a data point. The more data points you have, the more obvious patterns become. If you hear the same reason over-and-over again (even if you don’t agree with it), you can learn and do something about it.

Why Don't VCs Give Feedback?