The Paradox of Time: Silicon Valley's Ultimate Riddle
Seven years ago, I created a course called Silicon Valley 101 to introduce founders from outside the Bay Area to the unique culture and etiquette of Silicon Valley. The program, which thousands of founders have taken to-date, helps break down some of the myths and misconceptions about how the world’s preeminent tech ecosystem operates.
One important aspect of the Valley’s culture that I always put extra focus on is how investors and founders think about time.
In my experience, time is the second most precious resource to founders and investors in Silicon Valley (after their personal networks). Spend a few days in the San Francisco Bay Area and you’ll immediately recognize that most people are trying to accomplish far more than they have time for. That fact alone isn’t particularly unique (after all, high-achieving individuals the world over take on more than they can chew). What is unique is that, on top of all of their other obligations, the majority of participants in the world’s largest startup ecosystem also want to pay it forward. But almost none of them have the time to.
The result is one of the foundational paradoxes of Silicon Valley: most people in places of power, influence and experience genuinely want to help up-and-coming founders, but their work and obligations leave little to no time for them to do so.
The founders who can solve this puzzle unlock an unfair advantage that can change the trajectory of their startup: access to Silicon Valley’s insiders. And the solution isn’t as complex as you might imagine.
You simply have to make it easy for them to say yes.
But how can you make it easy for someone to say yes to spending time with you, when they don’t have any to offer?
The solution involves 3 simple steps:
Grab their attention quickly
Signal that you understand how limited their time is
Earn the rest
Let’s look at a couple of examples:
Example #1: Cold Emails
As an investor, I receive hundreds of emails in my inbox every day. If I were to read every single email I receive, I literally wouldn’t have time to do anything else.
So I filter. Heavily. Not because I want to, but because I have to. I’m trying to extract the maximum value out of my inbox in the minimum amount of time. Which means I’m not even going to open an email if I don’t think there’s value in reading it. Sounds harsh? That’s how little time I have.
Here are some of the ways that I filter my inbox:
If an email is from someone I know, I’ll almost certainly open it (which is why warm intros are so important)
If a subject line references a Pre-Seed or Seed fundraise, I’ll almost certainly open it
If something else in the subject line catches my attention, I’ll open it
You never get a second chance to make a first impression, which is why the subject line and the first sentence of a cold email are so crucial. If I don’t already know you, I’ll decide whether or not to open your email based on the subject line and the 50 or so characters that show up as a preview in my email client.
Here are some emails that I immediately opened:
We met at [Event]
Awesome — I immediately have context and can place the conversation.
Panache + [Startup] | Pre-Seed DevOps with $20K MRR
Perfect. A Pre-Seed startup in a sector that I focus on.
Pitch Deck Feedback — “I am just about to kick off a fundraising process. Although I have exited two times, in my other ventures I did not raise VC funds…”
Two-time exited founder. Asking for specific help. You’ve got my attention.
And here are some that went straight to trash:
[Startup] - $2M in sales/$4.3M in active contracts – Series A
Great subject line, but I don’t invest at Series A (easy to find from basic research).
[Startup] Video Presentation — “I’m excited to share with you a 5 minute video presentation…”
I don’t know who you are or what you do, so I’m not going to watch a 5 minute video in order to figure it out.
INDUSTRIAL MANUFACTURER ACQUISITION OPPORTUNITY
The opportunity might be real, but the subject line screams SCAMMY.
Popping up a level, how I manage my inbox is a great example of the incremental nature of the third point above (“earn the rest”):
Provided it doesn’t land in my spam folder, I’ll scan the subject line and preview sentence of your cold email no matter what (2-5 seconds)
If your subject line is strong and/or you came through a warm introduction, I’ll open the email and read the first few sentences (10 seconds)
If the first paragraph catches my attention, I’ll read the rest of the email (30 seconds)
If the full email is strong/relevant/etc., I’ll take further action (click on your deck link, email you a response, etc.) (3-5 minutes)
And so on.
Example #2: In-Person Meetings
Let’s say someone agrees to meet you in-person. If this were a personal friend, you’d typically go through the back-and-forth exercise of trying to find a time that works for both of you, a location that’s midway between you (so as to be fair to both people), and so on.
But if you’re trying to get time from someone you’ve never met before, this completely reasonable interaction violates the second point (“signal that you understand how limited their time is”). Why? Because engaging them in a discussion of where you should meet causes them to have to spend time on scheduling. You’re imposing a tax on them before they’ve even met you!
What should you do instead?
The clearest signal you can possibly give someone that you respect their time is to tell them “I will come to you”.
That’s why, whenever I ask for a meeting with someone new, I’ll send an email along the lines of the following:
I’m happy to come to your office anytime that works for you (or feel free to suggest another location if it’s more convenient).
The signal in this message is unmistakable: I respect your time and am going to eliminate any overhead that is required for you to say yes.
As a counter-example, I recently had a founder reach out for advice on their business. After responding that I would be happy to chat, they replied:
Why don’t you come by my office in [location]?
In a social context, this would be a perfectly normal, if not generous offer (“Come to my place — I’m happy to host!”). But when asking for help in a business context, it’s the exact opposite (“Please spend time traveling to where I am in order to help me, and then spend more time traveling back.”).
The more effectively you can grab someone’s attention and demonstrate to them that you respect their time, the more likely you are to get a positive response. So remember these three steps:
1. Grab their attention quickly
A strong, effective email subject line
An insightful response to a social media post
A thoughtful question at a conference talk or AMA
2. Signal that you understand how limited their time is
Clear, concise bullet points in a email (as opposed to 4-6 lengthy paragraphs)
Asking for pitch deck feedback by sending an email with specific questions and a link to a Google Slides presentation they can drop comments into, vs. asking for a call to go through the deck live
Asking for a 15-minute call instead of 30 minutes (or an hour!)
Sending a question via a voice memo instead of scheduling a live call
Sending specific questions in advance of a call vs. asking “to pick their brain”
3. Earn the rest
